How To Woo At The Fringe - Tips From Don Juan’s Philippe
22 August 2018
While Don Juan – the self-proclaimed "world’s greatest lover" – flirts, fights and flings himself at any man or woman who crosses his path, A Slightly Isolated Dog’s resident romantic, Philippe, has a slightly different approach. Here, Philippe muses on love and longing at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe.
You know love is one of those mysterious things, it can strike you at any time, like a shooting star falling to Earth. I am always waiting for this feeling. My heart is barely tame. With no warning it may leap in my chest, desperate to be united with another, and I must follow where it leads. And you know, I think it was fate that brought me to Edinburgh Fringe because I have already fallen in love many times. There are so many beautiful people here I think maybe I am in a dream. But then I look into the eyes of a gorgeous woman who has found me wandering in the street and I think, no! This is the most real thing have ever felt.
When woo-ing on the streets of Edinburgh during the Fringe, here are some things to remember:
- Sometimes they are not the one, and they will laugh at you and walk away. It’s OK, this is only your foolish heart trying to make you stronger.
- When you pay someone a compliment (which you should be doing a lot) it helps to use very beautiful language like in a poem. For example, you could say, “Oh my God! You are so beautiful and perfect, like a crystal clear lake on a spring morning, and even though my father never taught me to swim, I know that you will hold me afloat on your surprisingly saline waters like a leaf, or a dolphin.”
- Sometimes they have already fallen for another person. If this happens you have two options. Accept defeat, or challenge their partner to a duel at noon the next day.
- If someone looks at you, and you free fall suddenly into the heavenly depths of their eyes, and you feel that you are once again just a little boy and the whole world is beautiful and mysterious, then this is a good sign to act.
- I hear there are phone applications which you can use to help you as well, such as The Tinder and The Grindr. I have not used these before, but if you are interested you can buy a telephone at any of the very handy electronics stores around Edinburgh.